I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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