Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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