i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
My dick has a subreddit
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
