So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Boobs speak an international language.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
