I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
