Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
