i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
