is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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