i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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