you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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