Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
