Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
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