a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
