you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
