No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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