Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
