i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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