Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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