Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
