You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
