Just took my morning after pill in the library
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
