Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
My vagina just recognized that song.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
