so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm bleeding and have questions
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
