i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
