Ketchup is God's man juice
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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