do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
