he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
