the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
