My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
