Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
