Sry I called you an 8
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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