That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
