Need sex. Gaining weight.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
