so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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