That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
