Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My penis needs a shock collar
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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