: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
