Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
