I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
