I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i came on her dog
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
