They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
