Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
