i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You've changed since you got that strap on
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
