Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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