how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
