Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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