i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Randomize
