TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
