oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
