Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
pop tarts are not kleenex
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
