he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
