just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
