Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
